Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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