normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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