Dual....:-)
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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