I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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