He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
