You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
