I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
