I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
