I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
