is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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