but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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