You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
