Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
