they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
