Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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