The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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