So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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