ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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