We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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