I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
