That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
