i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
