You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize