if i can run in heels then i can drive
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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