I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
