well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
