Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this will be a night to untag.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
