I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
