TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
