We won't sleep together?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
