I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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