I just pynch a tree in the face
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
