Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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