It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont even know how to be here
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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