Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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