they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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