brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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