i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
