At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
