this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
