I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
