I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
