My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize