Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
