Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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