hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
