I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
