Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
