I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize