i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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