wrigley field is MILF paradise
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
