Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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