his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize
