"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
