Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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