Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
