my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
