Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
