I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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