I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize